Christmas is ‘round the corner.  It’s supposed to be a day of celebration.  A day to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Following that would be the New Year’s Eve celebration.  A day to spend with your family.

I just moved to my Ninang’s house.  She wants us to celebrate here since it’s its first Christmas and New Year.  My grandmother promised that she would come and celebrate with us.  We usually celebrate it in the province with her.  At first, I would not believe she would actually leave her home to celebrate here.  She’s just too attached to our home in Laguna. But after my Mom and Ninang kept making plans, I started to hope.

Only to be crushed once again.  Why do they always make promises they could not keep?  It’s not just my grandmother.  My parents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, friends.  Why not tell me out front if they could not deliver something.  Why make promises and break them in the end? I do understand if something could not be done.  But don’t they realize how much it breaks our hearts when promises are broken?  It’s the promise made, not the thing or the action, but the commitment behind it.  It makes us feel unloved even though we know that it’s not true.  Sometimes, the mind understands but our hearts could not.  Every time they break our hearts, it grows cold and distant. And I’m afraid someday, it will become so unfeeling we would no longer care at all.

I won’t be able to go to Laguna this year.  After the New Year’s Eve, I have work the following day.  Working in a call center doesn’t give us holidays.  It was a miracle even that our application for Vacation Leave was approved on the 31st.  I’ll be spending Christmas at work.

I read a quote that a man should not be hasty with his words.  That’s true.  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.  We don’t need empty words.  Didn’t they know that I tried to get a perfect attendance for months just so my application for leave would be approved?  I saved up that leave for that one special day. Didn’t they know how much I cried when at first it was denied? Couldn’t they just give me one day?